What is knowing oneself--and how one knows ownself

Beloved Master......

I do understand what u ment...abt LOVE ...but has not realized........and ......what is knowing onself.......and how one knows ownself?  ...as our common friend ...says ..."I keep hearing it...If only I knew How to do it, all would be easier..." in ur post....it is same with me too.........how it happens.......?

Beloved....

 Our common friend, just yesterday told me, that she realised that whatsoever she's doing daily is, been involved with others or in activities and the moment she is alone, a dark dizzy feeling descends upon her and fear enters....

I told her not to avoid that "dark dizzy feeling", instead to accept  it, and to jump into that space, inspite of her fear...

We've from early childhood learned to depend and udjust on others opinions, demands, rules and ideas so much so, that we've forgotten that which we had before as children, our Self-ness...

The child is innocent, the child is intelligent, the child is rebellious, the child is joyous... The child lives in the moment... 

One day, I was waiting for my wife in the hospitals yard,  where she was working... It was a sunny day and I was smoking a cigarette, enjoying the cool breeze of the spring, when I saw a four year old child chasing a butterfly... The child looked ecstatic as he was running after it, when sudely the butterfly disappeared into a tree besides the wall of the yard... Next moment, a dove appeared flying off the wall and landed a few metres from me...  and the child started chasing the dove around, the dove flew away and when a cat appeared and the child started chasing the cat....

I was all tears... I remembered what Jesus said to His disciples... "Unless you become like chidren again, you shall not inherit My Kingdom of God"... 

The child still lives in Paradise, his innocence, his living in the present, without any thought of past or future... Just LIVING in the moment! All the joy and the benediction of Existence is upon him...

BUT... The child soon is spoilled and by and by corrupted... The parents first...  With the best intentions, they do harm to the child... They impose their imposed ideas on him, to make him behave... In the begining, the child resists, but by and by, by the "carrot" and the "whip", the child has to adjust, just to survive... Then comes the Society, in the form of the school... Teachers without heart, they try their best to form the child into an efficient machine to be used by the System... All the rubbish of human history, all garbage of corrupted religion, ideologies, all useless information... Just to cripple the childs intelligence... And what to say about his sexuality? ..."DON'T", "BAD", "GUILT", ...repression, distortion...

Then, as he grows, he gets, by borrowing, the idea of becoming someone!  Desire, competition, politics, in all relationships...He has lost completely his self-ness, he depends on the picture that others project on him and he's trying his best to adapt to the virtual image that others project and expect of him... So he enters virtual reality... The Matrix!

Long lost now, diving deep into the social process, he's trying to find meaning in relationships, money, material things, ideologies, philosophies, religions and any kind of activity, so he can ease somehow the pain of his constant failure... 

Kabir says... I talk to my inner lover and I say, why such rush? We sense that there is some sort of spirit that loves birds and animals and the ants--perhaps the same one who gave a radiance to you in your mother′s womb. Is it logical you would be walking around entirely orphaned now? 

 The truth is, you turned away yourself, and decided to go into the dark alone. Now you are tangled up in others and have forgotten what you once knew, and that is why everything you do has some weird failure in it. 

  Have you not watched it in your own life? All that you do goes on failing. You still don′t see the point--you think that you didn′t do it as it should have been done, that′s why it has failed. So you try another project and you fail again. Then you think that your skill is not enough, so you learn the skill and then you fail again. Then you think ″The whole world is against me″ or ″Fate is against me″ or ″I am a victim of people′s jealousies.″ You go on finding explanations for why you fail, but you never strike the real ground of your failure.

The man who has kept some sensitivity, stops one day, sees around him and a thought arises... "What are all these around me?" Then the search starts... "In the pasture of this world, I endlessly push aside the tall grasses in search of the bull. Following unnamed rivers, lost upon the interpenetrating paths of distant mountains, My strength failing and my vitality exhausted, I cannot find the bull. I only hear the locusts chirring through the forest at night... The bull never has been lost. What need is there to search? Only because of separation from my true nature, I fail to find him. In the  confusion of the senses I lose even his tracks. Far from home, I see many cross-roads, but which way is the right one I know not. Greed and fear, good and bad, entangle me"...

That's until he finds a Master, a man who has travelled all the way to re-cognition...

Trusting Him, he will be able to walk the path from loneliness to Aloneness...

It's just a door... A door on which from the one side is writen "Loneliness", and it causes fear, chaos and repulsion and on the other side reads "Aloneness", and brings Spaciousness, Love and Freedom...  

But one has to dare to jump into the unknown, to pass the Door to Love and Freedom, to regain his joy, his innocense, his utter beauty... One, in spite of his fear has to pass... All that is needed is not to cling to the past, not to give in to fear, it needs a daring soul to escape from the Prison of Time, to become like a child again...

And the funny thing is, there is no need to do the jump, just when the time comes, don't avoid it.... In the mean time meditate and live your life with authenticity, for it brings closer the point of no return... There, the infinite familiarity of  Oneself descends like a worm blanket and covers you, evaporating all the wounds of the past, bringing you to the Here-Now... That warm 'n sweet taste of Self-ness is what Love is, and that then radiates towards the other, to wake up his hidden splendor as you did...

Love & Light

Anand Sarmad